Vegans, Vocations and Vaginas.
“Good god Penny, what on earth is that in your hand?”
“This, this Jilly darling is my most secret of weapons. Whilst I was at the Vegans, Vocation and Vaginas silent retreat last weekend Grandmother ‘Storm over Her Head’, painted me a fab and rather telling piece of art work. She had emailed me prior to the retreat asking me to take the remains of Jeremy’s frozen placenta, I had planned to make another placenta tartar with it, but I was intrigued and so I took it along with me. She said it had something to do with Mercury being in renegade, Jupiter throwing its weight about and me desperately needing to realign my zodiac. In order that I may finally start to embrace life as an Aries, as opposed to carrying on as a Pisces, when that isn’t who I truly am.”
“Is it safe Penny, can you even do that, just change signs like that, midlife? It almost killed Petra leaving her life as a Leo behind, heaven knows what will happen to you. In my opinion Penny, finding that 13th sign has an awful lot to answer for, don’t you think?
“You’re so dramatic Jilly darling and no one’s asking for your opinion, but as a frustrated Scorpio I guess you have to give it to me anyway? Enough now, back to me and that art work. It was positively stunning, and it held the key I had been searching for, throughout the entirety of my inner cosmos and the ten-year quest thereof I have been on. It spoke to me in a voice, not dissimilar to that of my own mother’s voice and it said, Penny if you are ever going to win the mothers egg and spoon race and prove you are so much more than a vagina to Tim. Then you have to find a sacred virgin willow and whittle yourself an egg affirming spoon from it.”
“Goodness me Penny, one piece of art, made from little Jeremy’s left-over placenta told you all that?”
“Focus Jilly there’s more. She said when I place the egg, which we know is the very symbol of woman’s eternal struggle for freedom upon the spoon, the spoon will gently, but firmly hug the egg and thus carry it effortlessly over the winning line. Where once in the safety of victory’s arms, the metaphorical contents of the egg will burst forth, enabling me to discover my life’s true vocation.”
“Oh, my goodness Penny the depth of wisdom and inspiration that pours out of you, well it takes my very breath away.”
“I know it does Jilly darling… don’t touch the spoon.”
Written by Tracey Odessa Kane 1st May 2017 ©.
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